A surface excuse to acquaintances and strangers was given first. But now I feel you are my friends and I can peel another layer off the onion. Grief and resentment from betrayal set off the cancer in my body. Louise Hay knew it and wrote about it in You Can Heal YOUR Life! I loved BIG. I believed a wife helps a husband and vice versa. My credit card was hijacked by car, truck, compressor payments that I invested in FOR him. The bust of ’07 hit, we moved cross country to the boom, I discovered he was unfaithful with several Latina women in Calgary while I was healing from a hysterectomy and finishing up the school year across the country! Adios amigo. HE KNEW my parameters. Another boom a month after the divorce was finalized, breast cancer. Boom foreclosure. Boom bankruptcy. Boom, the dream I declared at 17 overlooking the favelas of Rio which was….instead of having children of my own, I would help these kids under tin roofs in cardboard boxes. My to-be Honduran step-children were DENIED due to a technicality. Boom. The hysterectomy truly was for MY health anyway. David was a DICKHEAD…he only THOUGHT with his DICK! Sex disabled him from thinking of primary, secondary and tertiary consequences of his actions! He was deported to a place he hated. I was in shock he would have the audacity, the desgraziado, to have affairs on a woman who loved him so much, she begged him to go back to his hated homeland to find, meet and restore a relationship with his son who was a spitting image of him. When grandson doesn’t know grandma and vice versa and they’ve seen each other on the same block…Houston there’s a problem! There were so many “throw away” children in La Ceiba. Men just screwing like rabid dogs with no care in the world for no one. David was a Dickhead. The tertiary reason was to make amends to his boy and help his step sister. We together could have provide Erick and Monica with a beautiful life in Canada. How many more stories have I heard like this? Way too many to ignore. No wonder Erick went into a gang. From smiley to scornful. So sad. What was the surface excuse for painting the Dickheads? I could hear my mom’s loud Nightly News through the floor to my basement art studio. To relieve my anger and resentment of David’s destruction, I projected anger against the rapist, the trophy hunter, the acid thrower, the shooter, the thief, the pedophile, the decapitator, animal abuser, the mind controlled plower-over of people in crowds…do they have a simpler name? Dickhead seems appropriate…